First Year of Teaching
I have come out of my first year of teaching with one solid conviction: I love it! What a challenge it is! What a delight! The frustrations are appropriate for the benefits. There was the frantic, daily rush to assemble content. There were the meaningful conversations with people who care about many of the same things I do. There was all the exciting potential of young adults. There were peers with whom to hash out theology. There was a paycheck instead of a transcript. The frustrations? There was the frustration of being smart enough to see what needed to be done to be proud of my work, but not knowing how to achieve it, not having time for it, and not permitting myself to do it because of social consequences. When I compared the amount I earned as an office drone to my paycheck as a teacher with a master’s degree and some Ph.D. study, well, that was frustrating. Overall, however, teaching suits me.
Unfortunately, of course, the year was overshadowed by missing Matthew. I missed Matthew a lot. Even when he visited for three weeks at a time, I wasn’t really there. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I needed to do next and processing what had happened. When we were apart for longer and longer, it became unbearable. Despite video chat every day, I felt like I lost my best friend. Telling each other what happened does not make up for lost shared experience.
My second year of teaching will not be next year. I have returned to MBBS in Fresno for a second degree. This time it will be a Master’s of Theology.